change;

you know that feeling?

when you're just waiting.

waiting to get home, into your room,

close the door, fall into bed, 

and just let everything out that you kept in all day.

that feeling of both relief and desperation.

nothing is wrong.

but nothing is right either.

and you're tired.

tired of everything, tired of nothing 

and you just want someone to

be there and tell you it's okay.

but no one's going to be there.

and you know you have to be strong

for yourself, because no one can fix you.

but you're tired of waiting.

tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else

tired of being strong.

and for once, you just want it to be easy.

to be simple. to be helped. to be saved.

but you know you won't be.

but you're still hoping.


"tears are alright. they are the price we pay for: love, care, and compassion in the world."
-jeffrey r. holland


i've been thinking a lot recently about what i really want to say.
i've had a lot on my mind.
relationships with:
Christ, my family, friends, boys, classmates etc.
what my future holds.
basically everything.
i can't even seem to really gather my thoughts,
that's how much my mind is racing.
i've even had some DANG ROUGH days,
BUT
even though i've hard the hardest time recently;
(on edge more than i should be aka wanting to cry always)
i've decided what i need to do.

me and one of my best friends were discussing how we feel and why we feel the way we do
(total girl move) and came up with the conclusion that we are single, in our twenties, and are in college. when, in the rest of our lives, are we going to be able to stay up till 3 am acting like crazy heads or take a spontaneous trip to california with your bffs? probably never. at some point we are all going to grow up. we are going to get married, get jobs, and have babies. we are going to have to be self-less to our future families. so, why not be selfish now?

"Being in your twenties allows you to start carving out the life you want for yourself."

 Guys, being in our twenties is a luxury.
It's going to leave us eventually, so why not enjoy it?

Enjoy those lame parties and those awkward dates.
Enjoy staying up till 3 am and then being able to wake up for your 9 am class.
Enjoy the crappy apartment you live in.
Enjoy eating cereal and top ramen.
Enjoy being your own boss.
DO MORE OF WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

 

now, this doesn't mean be stupid and do things you are going to regret.

another huge thing that has been on my mind, like always is
my Savior, Redeemer, even Jesus Christ.

sometimes i get caught up in everything going on around me that i forget that i need to slow down.
my Heavenly Father knows me better than i know myself and sometimes i forget that.
i know that if i aline His will and my will, that everything WILL workout exactly how they are suppose to.
if we are following the commandments of the Lord and obey His word, our lives will be filled with joy, love, and peace.
i think it's so important to understand WHO you are and WHOSE you are.
we are all sons and daughters of a king.
a king who cares so much about you personally.

we've decided to just love life.
love who we are.
love those around us.
love where we are.
love where we are going.

from now on
i'm focusing on my:

relationship with my Heavenly Father
family
friends
school
happiness
health
positive attitude
and
being who Christ knows i can be

 

(always gotta stay sassy)

remember your worth and that you deserve to be happy

xoxo
E